My worst habit… needs to end now.

I was stirring my ten-year-old nephew the other night about him having a girlfriend. 

He denied it, which is good, because, y’know… he’s ten, but my brother (his dad) and I humorously persisted. 

My brother asked him what his girlfriend's name was, and I got a bit carried away and answered for him by quoting Jonah Takalua from Summer Heights High.

‘I dunno, Amanda or some s***,’ I said. 

Caption: The scene where Jonah talks about his girlfriend in Summer Heights High (ABC).

For years, I’ve only really sworn in good humour, or when quoting a TV show or a movie. And while this was the case again that night, it wasn’t just in front of the ten-year-old, but his eight-year-old sister and four-year-old brother. 

And my mother swiftly let me know about it. 

Mum’s slap on the wrist wasn’t just a reminder to check who’s in the room first, but to check my language full stop. I didn't argue with her then and I'm not going to argue now; I'd feel pretty bad if my niece or one of my nephews went to school or three-year-old kinder and repeated a bad word I said.

Truth is, I really only swear when I'm on my own, and to be clear, but not to downplay things, it's normally an 'S' word or an 'F' word. It's never a 'C' word. Repeat - never.

It's an 'F' word that's normally said in response to something that goes wrong, and in the tone a particular character, such as the little english girl who gets a bucket of water thrown over her head.

Caption: The little english girl who participates in the ice bucket challenge.

Or it's in response to something I've done well and, again, is in the tone of a particular character, such as Eric the cockatoo.

Caption: Eric the cockatoo has quite the high opinion of himself.

But it's a habit that has gotten worse over the past few years, to the point where it's now the worst habit I have.

And it can't get any worse, because if it does, I risk getting myself in a decent amount of trouble.

So today begins...

Yep, I aiming to not swear for one day. And when today is over, I will aim for one more day, and then another day after that, and then a week, and then another week, and then a month, until I've stopped swearing for good.

No big time limits, no going cold turkey, just slow and steady progression to a vocabulary that's free from profanity.

And I might stop stirring the nephew as well. For no other reason than it's an out-and-out certainty he'll get a girlfriend before I do, and then start stirring me about it.